Absent… Again.

Not sure why you guys put up with me.

You may or may not have noticed that nothing is coming out of the Felicity mill right now. And I do mean nothing. I’ve never experienced a dry spell quite like this one. Or summer depression.

Since I was a kid, summer was MY time. I loved the sunshine, the heat, the humidity, things growing and green. Heavy afternoons that screamed with cicadas until the thunderstorms swelled and exploded. Then fresh, clean dusks with pink and coral sunsets, everything drinking and steaming and falling asleep. I’d stand in our front yard and watch the bats against the pink sky. Then count stars and lightning bugs. On the hottest nights, heat lightning flickered through the sky like a distant dying neon. Silent. A contained fury, uncontained somewhere, for someone.

I belonged to it.

We’ve had a rough year. There has been illness and poverty and lost friends. Scraping out a living and being thwarted at every turn. It has silenced me. And the silence builds and suffocates… I don’t know what I am when I’m not writing, or painting, or being successful at something. My successes are few and far between. And my energy is consumed by survival.

So I don’t know if I’ll be back this time. I’m considering closing the site down, as it seems rude to the public to have a blog you never update. I believe I’ve given Felicity a fair shot these last almost three years… Or maybe I just need time to get out of this slump. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, both for finishing existing projects, and beginning new ones; but I’m unable to speak. Life has gagged me.

Until next time…

6 thoughts on “Absent… Again.

  1. I am so sorry to read if the difficulties; it is so hard for a follower to put a personal situation into the context of the beautiful writing you create. Many of us bloggers go through similar downs for many of the same reasons; creativity dries up when you are depressed and battling with more fundamental challenges I life.

    I hope you don’t close the site down and it will be waiting for you; along with your readers, when life takes a turn for the better. Here’s hoping that turn is just around the corner. You are too talented an author to disappear!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww…I know the feeling sweetie. All too well unfortunately. It’s been an emotional year for me too so far, and lots has happened to keep me away from blogging both professionally and here at Coming Out Crooked…but honestly, you’re being harder in yourself than we are. But what else is new huh lol? We creatives do tend to beat ourselves up mercilessly at times. But you’re not done yet. You know how I know? Well…first, you wrote to ask for forgiveness and to see if anyone was missing you. Judging by the responses so far, I’d have to say yes! Even if only one person has said “Don’t leave. I understand. I’ll wait.” That would have been enough. Right? And secondly, this very post was written so joyfully and descriptively and with such longing and beauty that it’s clear to anyone reading it that you are a writer. Period. Besides. What else are ya gonna do lol? I did what you’re doing. I hadn’t written here in months and then one widely spaced post after another, I’ve been coming back. And the funny thing is that while some of my faithfuls have commented, a new set of followed are emerging reminding me that life changes…our needs and our challenges change..and that it’s okay if we’re not always current and relevant in our minds, because to the old and new, we are. 😉 Do what you need to do Sweet Felicity and when you’re ready old faces and new ones will be here to great you. That in itself can be such an inspiration. You’ve touched a lot of people with your wonderful energy and your Magic prose. Yeah…it’s not over. You’ll be back. We need you as much as you need us. Love and light and sending you s crazy ass BIG virtual hug! Breathe baby. One day at a time. Life is short. Don’t waste it berating yourself. For anything. Celebrate the honour of being you and live, love and laugh. But mostly, LIVE. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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